i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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