If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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