my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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