She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
