I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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