Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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