Sacagawea was the original milf.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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