yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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