U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
