What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
