Michael Bay diarrhea
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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