some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
it glows. i had to have it.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
