I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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