seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
