i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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