I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize