I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
