You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
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