i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
