shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
there is another microwave in the elevator.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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