he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
