??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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