he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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