id be glad to
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
