it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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