...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
