never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
