Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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