I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
