can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
