Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
