I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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