Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I will die if light touches me.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
