I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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