ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
