So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize