I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
