I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
