Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
