It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
All I want is dick and wine.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
