Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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