You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
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