I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize