And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize