Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
