I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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