we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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