If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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