i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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