I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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