I just made out with a guy for $7.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
