How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
