So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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