What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
This is my gift to your gina
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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