You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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