you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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