So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
