Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
