Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
