i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
