Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
is that a dick in a sweater?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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