I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
